Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
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Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
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I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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