I'm jealous of your bromance
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I looked at my own cervix.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize