i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize