At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize