he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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