Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
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