Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
