yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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