its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize