Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
