I want to have your abortion
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
