just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
