Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
