i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize