he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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