I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
