That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
