I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
