we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
