why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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