I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
