just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
