I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
