when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Randomize
