shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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