he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I wish you could order shots online.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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