i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Randomize
