i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
