belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
