You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
