I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
