i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
