Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
