so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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