My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Randomize
