Christians are straight up FREAKS
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Randomize
