I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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