now i know why i became what i already was.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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