we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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