Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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