I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
