some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I need moral support for this bender
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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