Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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