return my video game
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
no you cant smoke seaweed
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
