Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize