i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
