Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Naked. naked and bneed help.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
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