i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
