Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
