We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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