She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize