walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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