I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
where are my eyebrows?
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
