That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
