how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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