wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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