omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
