I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
