I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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