Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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