i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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