It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
