grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
