i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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