Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Randomize