Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
this will be a night to untag.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Randomize
